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One of the best things about Thailand are the massages. There are massage places all over the place, kinda like Starbucks in Vancouver. The greatest thing is is not only are they everywhere, they are cheap. One of the reasons you’re reading this blog is you’re wondering if things are indeed cheaper in other countries . I can tell you massages are much much cheaper. At about $8-$10 (300 thb)you’ll get a great one hour massage. Cheap massages are definitely zooming looking for in the best countries to retire cheap.  There are 3 types of massage I found in Thailand.

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The first is the foot massage. It’s more of a reflexology massage. It’s a full hour of kneading, pressure points and deep tissue. First you’ll soak and clean your feet and then they’ll work on your feet and calves for the full hour. It feels great and I definitely would recommend it. With the cost of this being so low I usually go for these about once a week. It is indeed a “Oh look, it’s Wednesday lets go the salon!”kinda feeling.

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The second type of massage you’ll encounter is Thai massage. You’re probably thinking, “I’m in Thailand of course I want a Thai massage.” You might want to rethink it. Thai massage is an ultra intense deep tissue massage. They’ll kneel on your back , stretch your arms, and your legs. It’s not uncommon to come out of a Thai massage bruised. I’d recommend Thai massage for people who are using massage to fix things in their bodies. I like going for one after a particularly brutal gym day. It does work out knots, kinks and adhesions. It’s a cross between having yoga done to you, and being a piece of meat being tenderized. Definitely not a “relaxation” massage.

The third type is the oil massage. This is the type of massage EVERY GUY that asks me about massage Thailand wonders , “Is there wink wink, Knudge Knudge happy endings?” All I can say is just like in Edmonton, Alberta you can definitely tell the happy ending places from the therapeutic.

At the therapeutic you’ll generally see 40 year old ladies in normal uniformy types of outfits. They’ll be the places that offer the other two types of massages as well

At a happy ending massage place there’ll be girls provocatively dressed up front and they’ll be saying “masssssage………you want good time hansum man?”

Warning from guys I’ve talked to , “if you go to a happy ending place , the happy ending is not free. It’s extra on top of what you’ve been quoted.”

Another warning sometimes the therapeutic places will actually even still offer happy endings. If you want to be 100% sure you’re not going to be offered a happy ending avoid oil massages altogether. I did get an oil massage at one of the therapeutic places, and it was great. (No offer from the 50 year old lady of a happy ending, thank goodness.)

That’s the different types of massages I have found in Thailand. Come down retire and live in a place where getting a massage costs less than going to the movies!