When you’re looking for the best places to retire cheap you have 3 choices of where to stay.

1. A fancy hotel.

2. A private apartment

3. A hostel

(Funny thing is a hostel is the MOST expensive option)

Here’s what you got to do!

The smart thing to do when you arrive in a new in city is to ONLY book a couple of nights.

You don’t what to find yourself in a crime ridden ghetto. And even worse than a crime ridden ghetto? Somewhere with no transit, crappy cabs and no way to get out easily.

This month my crazy adventure was to live in the physically grossest place I’ve ever lived in the world. Think flies everywhere, and no soap in the bathroom.

Here’s what my day looks like…..

I wake up (in my private room which I paid $180 CAN a month for) to hear the people downstairs lighting their morning marijuana joint. In Peru, marijuana isn’t a big deal. (Unless you are dealing, it’s still illegal).

For me, the weed smoke isn’t a huge problem. I’ve been around weed smokers my whole life. The hostel dogs know I’m awake, and are scritch scratching at my door.

“Why hello Farty and Hyper!” I have never had dogs growing up. I can see why people love them.

They are just soooooo happy to see you!

I head out to the bathroom. I bring my own toilet paper! (I’ve been here for a month. I know the chances of TP are rare)

I’m looking forward to breakfast, which is going to be at the mall. There’s a tasty Sausage McMuffin waiting for me!

The kitchen here is disgusting

I don’t know how they cook in it.

So, yeah that’s a downside.

But let’s skip forward to the best part of my day! After the gym…..this is what I found happening…

Random BBQ!

Some of the guys who work here, have grabbed some wood, and feed it to our slow cooker.

5 hours later, I’m drinking $1 rum and eating some of the tastiest bbq I’ve ever had.

This is the #1 reason I love staying in a Sh*thole hostel. The chaos and randomness is always so fun!

If I lived in a fancy hotel? This would never happen. They might have BBQ on the menu, but the spirit of randomness would never be there.

I’ll tell you mor but I’ve got to get back to my random game of Peru Monopoly.